” I have read your struggles becoming a mother so now I want to know if you discovered something new about yourself.”
Uhhhhhhhhh….. let me think?
Pregnant, had baby, quit job, Uber driver, new job, living life, motherhood.. processing.
I was complaining a lot when it was apart of my process.
Comparing myself to others when I needed to focus on my path.
Something I have discovered new about myself, I was trying to be too much of a control freak over stuff I had no control of. While recognizing this I began leaning on the Lord and finding I had much more faith in him than I thought.
Meaning, I stopped stressing and let him do the work for me. Of course I did my part but, there is this mindset of how a business person should think and they can become successful. You model the successful people that did it before you and walk that same path, easy. Applied that to Christ. He died on the cross, why am I stressing about something God already worked out for me.
I was mad and currently upset about something, but whatever. My faith has grown tremendously and I’m thankful for what I had to go through to recognize he will always have my back. I was quick to try and do things my own way, and he’d be quick to snatch me right up and place me back where he wanted me.
I’ve also discovered that I’m not as patient as I should be, that’s explainable itself. I need to sit down and just be patient and dealing with people who just press all my buttons, learning how to hold my tongue. Or if I do rebuttal, to withhold the cussing. I haven’t cussed in some time but for some reason it is resurfacing and sometimes it feels good but I know it’s not right.
I enjoy being a mom. I never had dreams to be a mom like I’ve stated before but not that I didn’t want kids, it just wasn’t a priority or pressing factor in my life. I am in awe of Emorie and how she can talk, read her environment, crawl, almost walk but she wants to be lazy with it (on her own time I know), pick up and throw stuff, laugh, know her parents, know her favorite foods. I love it all, even though I stay tired. What’s a nap? I miss my naps.
Discovering the beauty in growth.