A letter to myself

Dear Nichelle,

You’re better than what you accept. Constantly tolerating people’s disrespect and thinking you deserve it because of your past mistakes. Na girl, cut that out quickly. Sometimes people say and do things because they see something in your before you can see it yourself.

I know you want to be strong and you are, but it’s okay. You can’t do everything on your own. As determined as you think you are, you fail or end up hurting yourself because your body is just too tired…… stop it.

I’m going to hit on a touchy subject for you. Crying. I know! The thought of it just makes you feel vulnerable. Let it out. That’s all I’m going to touch on that, I’ll let you be.

Your mind has shifted to a survival mode because you have someone else to take care of but sometimes it’s too tunneled. You need to step back and see a bigger picture. Know what you not only shouldn’t do but just can’t do! You calculate in your mind how you can get things to work out and be in your favor but this isn’t a fairy tale and it doesn’t work that way. I think you have streaks of luckiness and you lose a sense of reality and when it returns, it hits you hard and you feel at your lowest. Be grateful for the opportunities given but don’t take for granted it’ll last forever. Your approach is very realist but times far fetched. I’m glad you can decipher the two.

I know up until Emorie was born you never thought of marriage or was interested in it. But your interest has grown and you move begun to see what it is you want and don’t want in a spouse and I don’t want you to settle on those expectations. Exterior will push away the weak candidates but internally the strongest will be able to handle your soft spots. You hide your sentimental side but it comes out when needed, don’t change or give up on building yourself to a better you!

Pretty much one year since this new beginning and I wanted you to write to yourself. Reflecting. Speaking about current struggles. Fighting through challenges. Overcoming! Hi Nichelle, I’m loving what you’re doing.

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