Ten Fingers, Ten Toes.

February 20, 2018, Emorie was born.

It’s like saying “memory” but without the m.

Her due date was February 19, 2018 which happened to be my weekly check up appointment. They already told me that I’d more than likely be overdue since this was my first pregnancy. I didn’t really care cause she was going to arrive when she wanted.

During my visit my midwife had let me know my blood pressure was a bit high, this wasn’t the first time throughout my last trimester though. Because of my repetitive results with my weekly visits, I was ordered to triage just to make sure I didn’t have preeclampsia.

Little did they know, prior to my appointment there was a major argument between myself and my daughters father. I’m sure it didn’t help my situation.

Side note..What I’m not going to do is bash a man that I decided to make this choice with and tell my perspective of a story, like I’m a saint, when he cannot defend himself. In no way am I perfect but neither is he. Otherwise, we’d have done it right the first time and i wouldn’t be going through what I am now. If there is a time I’d want to talk about something in detail then I’ll ask if he is comfortable with it.

Moving on.

I get to triage and have to wait a bit before a nurse comes, just to grab some quick vitals then continue with my blood work. She straps a monitor to my stomach to get babies heart rate, and it begins to dip,

And dip,

And dip..

I am laying on my back. She asks me to turn on all fours, so I am on my knees and pushing myself up by my arms. She makes a call for one midwife, but literally half the floor comes busting in the room. Shout out to her though, for being so calm with the protocols, she had me so fooled. I’m being stuck with needles, asked if I’ve had abdominal surgery before, do I have high blood pressure, and who knows that I’m here!? Like bruh, I came to get my blood work done and go home. You just asked me four questions in 3.5 seconds and I am still processing the fight I had earlier.

Her heart rate returns to normal and I am told I would not be leaving anytime soon, and my baby would be here sooner rather than later. I’m still okay though. I call my mom, dad and my daughters father. This was about to be a long night.

I’m put on pitocin to help this little lady come into the world. Around midnight or so, her heart rate drops again but evens out and we’re back to the wait game.

The second time her rate dropped though, it was different. The nurse began to panic and was calling for the midwife on duty. She had been calm most the night we were with her so when her voice was shaking and she kind of, just a little, yelled at the nurse assistant/student, I was like uh everything okay!? First of all, she didn’t handle that well. I’m the one who should be panicking. Secondly, it was funny cause she snapped at the assistant and the assistant was looking at her like, I’m new AND still learning.

Around 10 or 11 the next day, they wanted me to do the paperwork for a cesarean. Just if I needed to be rushed for an emergency c-section then no time would be wasted. Fine. Whatever.

Her heart rate dropped a third time and third time was a charm. It evened out again but afterwards a doctor came in. Uh oh. I’m trying to sip on some juice and didn’t even notice her slide in. She says the baby is doing fine but next time if it occurs, I will be rushed to surgery. She gave me the choice to wait it out or go ahead with the surgery.

I thought about it for a few minutes and decided to go ahead and have the cesarean. I figured if baby is having a hard time in this stage of labor then I didn’t want to even imagine the stress it’d put on her when it’s time to actually push or gets even more intense.

Now, this whole time my daughters father has been quiet for most of the induction. But he jumped when he heard c-section. He knew I wanted to come in with an open mind with my birth plan but wanted this to be the last option. I think he didn’t see it to be necessary to take that step just yet. I can’t speak for him but it was like someone pushed him in his back, up out the seat, and we all just looked at him like you good? He reminded me that this was my last option. But even after he spoke I still knew it was going to have to be this.

We prepare for surgery.

The medicine is so strong, I’m shaking. I’m sure it had to do with some of my nerves as well, but the doctors said it was normal and it had that effect on people. There was a scripture stuck in my head and I kept repeating it. I don’t ever remember trying to memorize this scripture but it was on REPEAT.

Psalm 27:1 KJV

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Rolling in with two and coming out with three, ahh! Bunch of lights, white walls, hella doctors, and my hairy legs. I didn’t shave and was worried about my legs going into surgery. Smh. Silly, I know. I’m sure they have seen it all, so little hair never hurt anybody.

It takes about 45-50 mins for the whole procedure. Once they said she was out I didn’t believe them because she didn’t make a noise. Her father peeked over the blue curtain and was like she’s out! I could barely focus because the room was so eerie, it’s exactly how they portray in movies. I’m still repeating the scripture in my head too! Once they finished skin to skin contact, even though I couldn’t feel it, she begins to cry. I was barely coherent since so many other things were going on around me and the medication in me.

They clean her up and bring her over for our first encounter and she sneezes on me. I mean I big sneeze. We find out that her umbilical cord has wrapped around her twice! So she more than likely was not going to come out vaginally. I’m okay, she’s okay. She’s healthy, I’m healthy.

Her eyes are wide open and she’s a mutant turtle. From the surgery room to the recovery room though, she becomes a new baby! She’s so small and soft, and just beautiful! I still didn’t cry, it felt unreal.

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